Paul Tomeyoshi Drogos
April 9, 1969 – April 15, 2019
From Paul’s wife, Ming:
“Dear families and friends,
Approximate 10:15 p.m. last night my best friend, my lover, my husband, my soulmate, the love of my life took his own life. After battling with PTSD for over 30 years and getting no where with the VA, he felt there was no other way out of his pain.
Paul spend most of his life serving others; as a Marine, a Police Officer, a Senior Officer Specialist at FCC Butner (Department of Justice) and just a General Badass guy. Although his life had start over again when we met, his past and his pain was so deep even I couldn’t take it away. And we were happy. A fairytale like kind of happy. As his wife and a fellow veteran, I should have seen his pain and suffering. I am appalled that I lost him this way.
He left me so heartbroken. He left me alone in this world. The promises he made to me, he will never get to keep them. I am so angry with him for leaving me behind. I am so angry with him for leaving our boys behind. I am so angry at him for being so selfish. It took us half of a lifetime to finally find each other and he took that away from me. He took my happily ever after away from me.
I miss him so very much. I am so lost and broken without him. I am scared what my future holds without him by my side. My heart aches for him. This pain is indescribable and unbearable. I just want to see his smiling face. I just want 5 more minutes of his hugs. I just want to hear his voice calling me “baby” one more time. I just want to snuggle my face into his beard and breathe his scent. I’d give my last breath just to hear him say “I love you”.
Rest easy, my love. Your pain is now gone. I am so glad that I was able to make you happy for the last two years. I’m so glad that I was able to experience unconditional love from you. We will find each other sooner in the next lifetime, I promise. I love you so much, baby. Like you used to say to me, “you’re my heart”.
But my heart is broken and my heart aches so badly.”